Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Just sad.

I've been feeling a bit down the last few weeks. Everything is just a little less sunny, I feel just a little bit sadder.

We officially have less than 12 months left in Japan; now everything I do is tinged with "This is my last......." We've past our last Tanabata season, attended our last Friendship Festival, started our last school year, spent our last Labor Day in Japan......I'm really trying to make the most of everyday, knowing it's the last, but how do I get passed the sadness? We've got some really fun stuff planned over the next 6 months, and while I'm excited and know we'll have a lot of fun and make some great memories for the kids, I know that each and every one these activities will be the last.

I'm not exaggerating when I say there is something every, single day that brings tears to my eyes, some days it's a full-on break down, but usually I just get a little misty eyed. I'm constantly counting down in my head, constantly feeling the sadness and dread of what's to come, leaving Japan. Bleh.

(Edited: Now that I've gone back a few hours later and re-read this, it sounds a little over the top, a little crazy, but it's honestly how I'm feeling right now. Just sad.)


Gaijin Wife said...

I was like that when I thought I was in my last year - as it turned out I stayed, and then stayed some more, and some more, and now it looks like I'm not leaving!! It will be very sad when I do though.

Solar lights for the garden - LOL. I probably would have thought the same thing.

thefukases said...

It must be hard. But as someone who loves a good wallow I have to say being sad for stuff that hasn't happened yet- at the expense of the time you've got left- probably won't help...

How about a family bucket list? All the stuff- big and small- that you want to do again before you leave? We do one for the last week of each holiday to Australia, silly stuff like watch the sunset on the beach, eat fish and chips, play Uno, whatever. It helps the girls count down, too. With months to go still you could add big stuff too, yeh? Like...ohhhh... go apple picking in Nagano? ;P

gigi-hawaii said...

Yes, you are feeling nostalgic right now, even though you have not yet left. Solution: blog about your last year. Document with lots of photos. When you finally return to the States, you will have your blog to refer to.