Thursday, January 7, 2010

I'm her.....

...this whole, stupid, horrible mess has turned me into "that girl". You know the one. When you see her, you just shake your head in pity, everybody knows her drama and we all think "Geez, what's wrong with her?" "God, I'd never do that!" "Doesn't she have any pride?". There are times now that I don't even recognize myself. I have said and done things in the last 9 weeks that I NEVER DREAMED I was capable of. And who will I be when it's all said and done? A stronger woman because I survived? Or a sad, broken shell of old myself, because of what I had to do to survive?

7 comments:

Gaijin Wife said...

We all do things we don't think we could/would do at some times. I thought I would be a much better mother than I am but am constantly put to the test and have to bannish bad thoughts all the time.

This will make you stronger - doing what you had to to survive this time. I have no idea what the fuck I'm talking about but surely these things, at the end of the day, make us grow as a person. I hope so anyway.

Big hugs to you Brenda.

The Reedys said...

You will be you... but older and wiser and maybe a little hardened and tougher, but still you. At some point or another we are all "that woman" or "that mom" or "that military wife"... chin up lady... chin-up :) Thinking of you....

Lily said...

You seem like such a beautiful person. I can't imagine you not emerging from this stronger and wiser. I thought Otis was being sent to one of the big danger areas...I did not imagine that this turn in life happened. I just remember your comment about jazz back in the summer...anyhow, I am shocked and sad that you are going through this. I really believe that you have shown to have a wonderful spirit and will be amazed at how everything turns out for the better. Although we have never met in person, I am sending a hug out to you. It sounds like you have a good group of friends around you but if I could ever be of any help please just shoot me an email lilyyamashita@yahoo.ca

Robin Vistnes said...

Slime- I have known you way too long and we have gone through way too much stuff for me to not speak about this with some authority. You WILL be a stronger person because of this, and Gabi is right, you do deserve the best, and this is not what you wanted, but God has a plan for your life. I don't know why or what, but I do have total faith! I love you
R

Heather.Victoria said...

Awesome Blog!! :)

Rebecca said...

Hey Girl,

Know that you DO have friends who love and care for you. You've faced so much and it's no fair to have to face this too, but you will and you will find the strength and get stronger still.

Love you much,

Gaijin Wife said...

Hey,

Hope everything OK and going well (?) at camp slime.