Thursday, June 30, 2011

The big 4-Oh NOOOOOOO!

My 40th birthday is quickly approaching.  Bearing down on me like an out-of-control bullet train, and I'm tied to the tracks, helpless to avoid the impending carnage.  People say "age is nothing but a number" and "it's how you feel on the inside that counts!"  Yeah, well, guess what?  INSIDE I feel 60!!!!

The last two years have really kicked my ass emotionally, mentally, even physically.  I'm exhausted, disheartened, disappointed and discouraged.  I'm working really hard to get to a better place, and most days I'm okay.  Better than okay actually.  Most days I'm actually pretty good.  But with this major milestone birthday looming in just 13 days, I'm feeling......ill at ease.  A little shaky, very uncertain and more than a little sad when I look at where I am at this point in my life.  THIS is all I've managed to accomplish in my 4  decades on this planet?????  (Shit, in 10 short years I'll be half a century old!!!)

So, with all that negativity hanging over my head, I've decided to accomplish something monumental (well, monumental for me at least):

I'M GOING TO CLIMB MT. FUJI!!!!!

Somehow it just seems fitting, conquering that mountain, reaching the summit.  I'm hoping it will be the jump start I need to make forty a FABULOUS year.

So, T-8 days and counting.  I'll be climbing Fuji-san next Friday night with two co-workers (both much younger and in much better shape than me!).  I am determined to reach the top, to watch the sun rise on this new decade of my life.  Wish me luck!!

5 comments:

gaijinwife said...

That's absolutely awesome. What a great start to your forties. Start out like you plan to proceed.
I've never climbed it but i'd love to one day. Look forward to the rundown and some pics. Hope you have fabulous weather.
xxx

Lulu said...

Good on you B!

I remember reading your posts when things first started to go...ahh...down hill and you have come so far since then! Amazing amazing feat considering!

Best of luck with the climb- I have personally never done it but friends have and most who have done it once have gone on to do it 2 or more times!

Rebecca S said...

That sounds flipping awesome!! I didn't do anything nearly as exciting when I turned 40. And 40 isn't Oh NOoooo...it's kinda 'hmmm,not too bad...' So don't worry about it..think on this you've been living in Japan for almost 4 years, the last couple on your own. You have great kids, a great job, pretty decent friends...and one day we'll retire in St. Croix together (yeah, I changed by mind about HI). I think you've accomplished alot. :)

BiggerInJapan said...

ouch, yeah, I feel you. And I am not even there yet. Will not climb the effin rock though. Can't be arsed.

thefukases said...

I7m not very good with numbers but I think today is Fuji day? Go Bryn Go!!!!!!