Sunday, February 13, 2011

A Toys R Us Kid!

Over the last year or so, Ethan has told me several times that he doesn't ever want to grow up.  He's said he doesn't want to be a grown-up and wants to be a kid forever.  I don't know what's prompting it.  The first time I told him about all the cool things "big kids" get to do and all the fun stuff he can do as a grown up, but he just got upset (he's a major drama queen).  After that, whenever he mentioned it, I'd just assure him that he had a long, long time before he had to worry about growing up.


His b-day is next week.  On Friday I asked him what kind of birthday cake he wanted.  He replied, "I don't want a birthday, I don't want to be 6!"  I tried to press him a little, "But it's your birthday!  It'll be a party, just for you, with cake and all your friends!"  He started to tear up, so I just dropped it.  Gabi piped up "But if you don't have a birthday party, you won't get any presents!"  He said he didn't care, he didn't want a party, or presents, he just wants to stay 5 forever.  I knew it wasn't a good time to explain that'd he'd be a year older whether we had a party or not, so we just changed the subject.


Tonight at dinner I tried again and he got really upset.  No birthday.  Period.  I feel so bad for him, I have no idea what's going on, what's spinning around in his beautiful brain, what kid doesn't want a birthday party?  *Sigh*  Poor punkin'.....


So, for now, we've compromised:  On Wednesday, the day BEFORE his birthday, we'll go bowling and have dinner at the bowling alley snack bar, (his favorite activity and his favorite place to eat) as long as it's just our regular Family Night and not in celebration of his b-day, but no friends and no cake.  I already ordered cupcakes for his class, he's okay with that as long as they're JUST a nice snack to share with his friends and NOT in celebration of his b-day.  He's also okay with 3 presents, one from Momo (grandma), one from me and one from his sisters as long as they're presents just because we love him, and not in celebration of his b-day.  He wouldn't even go for 4 presents, with each of his sisters getting him one, he said they should just give him one with both their names on it.


The bowling is what I had originally planned, but I was going to invite some of his buddies.  Thank goodness I'm such a horrible procrastinator and hadn't actually gotten around to inviting anyone, or ordering the cake, although I had arranged for a friend to make the cupcakes for school, ordered the cupcake toppers from e-Bay and gotten his prezzies.  My poor little pooper, I have no clue what's going on.  I'll just let it go and see how he is after his birthday, when the pressures off.

4 comments:

gaijinwife said...

Oh poor Ethan. I wonder what he's thinking. Am sure you will have a fabulous 'family night' and hope you get to at least say happy birthday to him on his b^day without him tearing up! So innocent. I wish it was true -t hat if you didn't celebrate it you didn't have to get a year older. Forever young.

thefukases said...

Poor E. I wonder what it is about being 5 he likes so much? I have the opposite problem with A who swore up and down she was seven to all manner of people just after her 5th bday- because she wanted to be the same as her sis. Poor kid was devastated when I pointed out she'll NEVER be the same age as her sister...

JESSICA RENSHAW said...

I'm new here but may I make a suggestion? Ask him why he doesn't want to grow up, doesn't want to get older. Maybe a threat from another kid or an offhand comment from someone has planted a lie in his mind about what will happen to him if he does.

Cecilia said...

That's really tough.
The poor thing has had so many changes... I can see why Peter Pan like never growing up would have appeal. Making sense of things, and trying to articulate it is tough for adults let alone an almost 6 year old...
Is there a school councillor you can work with? He is surrounded by love in your household and having some down time as a family may be a really nice way to spend his birthday.
Big hugs to you all.
xoxo