Thursday, June 24, 2010

No words.

Ok, so I do have words.  But I was speechless, for a little while.

After the INCIDENT two Saturdays ago, I felt I was really and truly finally plunging off the deep end.  I was crushed and confused, feeling desperate and so, so, so, so angry.  I didnt' know where to turn, what to do, I didn't know how I should feel or react.  For the first few hours I was pretty sure someone would end up hospitalized.  I didn't know if it'd be me, him or her, but somebody was damn sure going to get hurt!

And then, at my most desperate moment, there they were.  My bloggy friends family.  So many people reached out to me, listened, comforted, counseled, it was truly overwhelming, and so humbling.

The beautiful Cecilia, who had never even spoken to me IRL, met me for lunch in Kichijoji, where I poured my heart out over a buffet lunch of pizza and curry at Shakey's.  C was so warm and down-to-earth, she offered me comfort and encouragement, reassuring me that I WASN'T crazy and that everything would be okay.  Thank you Cecilia!!

My YEES sista from another mista, T, reached out from across the ocean, bitching and raging right beside me, united with me in outrage against people she'd never even laid eyes on before.  That her thoughts and feelings so completely mirrored my own offered more reassurance that I'm not a psycho, and that he is a heartless bastard.  Thanks T, you're the best!

GW, oh GW!  What can I say?  Even with her own shit storm brewing, she took the time to let me know she was thinking of me, and offered to help in any way she could. 

Then there's sweet, sweet Lily.  She listened. And listened. And listened some more.  One night we spent nearly two hours on the phone (after I had called and woken her up!). Lily opened her heart and her HOME to a complete stranger and her equally strange kids.  She took us in for a long, much needed break this weekend.  Showing us Niigata, and in the process, showing me her incredibly beautiful, loving spirit.  This weekend was exactly what I needed, and so much more.  I came back home feeling such peace, rested and calm, ready for whatever comes next.

And Heather!!!!  HEATHER!  Spending so much time and money just to meet Lily and I for a few hours!  I was so happy to finally meet her, and the adorable Meg and Amy of course.  And yes, for those of you who were wondering, yes, she DOES have the sparkliest arm hair I've ever seen!

Keep in mind that NONE of these beautiful, warm, caring women had ever met me in real life.  Before last week I had never even spoken to any of them.  But there they were, ready to catch me as I fell.  Anyone who thinks real relationships can't be formed online couldn't be more wrong, and is missing out on so much love!

A million, bazillion thanks to everyone!  You'll never know how much it means to me to know that you're out there, reading, following along and cheering me on!  I feel so much less alone, knowing my bloggy fam is here whenever I need them (but let's hope it won't be often!)


Gaijin Wife said...

Well said, and that's why blogs are so great. I sometimes think I give too much away (OK, so I think this quite often) but some days when I have been in a really dark mood comments from bloggy friends have really helped pull me through.

Your hub's been a complete dickhead so we need to rally together.

And you're welcome - anytime you need someone to spew obscenities about the man I'm here. I can multi task too - open wine and spew obscenities at the same time :)

thefukases said...

So glad to see such a positive post from you!

And I was so excited to meet you and Lily- you provided the impetus for we so-close-yet-so-far bloggy peeps to finally meet!

And I have to say your Meg is testament to what a great mum you are- what a super kid!

Hope things are calmer all round and you're always welcome to come up for some farm life anytime you like.

Might even show you the secret to sparkly arm hair.... ;P

Cecilia said...

Such sunshine in your post. I can feel the energy sparkling - it's great to hear. :)

Bryn said...

GW - couldn't agree more, on everything! Thank you!!!

Heather - I've been called a lot of things, but never an impetus! I rather like it ;) Meg was on unusually great behavior this weekend, not sure what was going on, but she was handsomly rewarded with $30 when we got home for not making me look like a crap mom!

Cecilia - Thanks! I'm feeling pretty good!

illahee said...

i love posts like these. so many beautiful women coming together in friendship!!